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Recovery involves learning when to hold on and when to let go. Step 3 asks that we let go of our control and trust something greater than ourselves. The shift is from fear and self-will to faith and freedom. Letting go is not easy, particularly for people who have relied on themselves for a long time. Step 3 offers a new way: to trust a Higher Power with our will and lives. The Step invites us to let go of control and tap into an understanding and power greater than ourselves. Step 3 in both Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) is a turning point. Oftentimes, people will practice surrender and letting go through the 3rd Step Prayer, which is an expression of a willingness and request for guidance in whatever understanding people have of a Higher Power. In this article, we will look at the 3rd Step Prayer, the original wording in the AA Big Book, how people make it their own, and what role it can play in our recovery on a daily basis.
Step 3 is often seen as one of the biggest turning points in recovery. It invites us to make a conscious choice:
"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him."
For many, this moment marks a deep shift, moving away from fear and self-will and stepping toward trust, faith, and a relationship with something greater than ourselves. In both Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Step 3 is a foundation for building a new way of life. One of the most important parts of this step is the wording: "God as we understood Him." This phrase reminds us that recovery is not about fitting into a rigid belief system. Rather, it gives each person room to find their own spiritual path.
In a way, Step 3 helps us:
When we stop trying to manage everything on our own, we create space for healing, guidance, and real change. It is about finding a connection with something greater than ourselves, whatever that may look like individually. Practicing Step 3 means learning to let go of control. It means surrendering the idea that we can manage everything on our own. This surrender is not weakness; it is a powerful act of trust. The spiritual principles of Step 3 in NA and AA, willingness, open-mindedness, and faith, support this transformation.
Here are a few ideas that Step 3 encourages:
One tool many people use to practice Step 3 daily is the 3rd Step Prayer. Whether in AA, NA, or other recovery paths, the 3rd Step Prayer offers a way to put this decision into words. It becomes a moment of turning our lives over, again and again, with honesty and hope. One of the most powerful ways people live Step 3 is by using the 3rd Step Prayer, a heartfelt request to turn things over. Let’s take a look at the original prayer as it appears in the AA Big Book.
The 3rd Step Prayer is a powerful tool found in the "Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous. It appears in the chapter titled "How It Works," specifically on page 63. For many, this prayer puts into words the heart of Step 3: surrendering self-will and seeking the guidance of a Higher Power.
The Third Step Prayer from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (page 63) reads:
"God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always."
This prayer highlights the main goals of Step 3:
For many in both AA and NA, saying the 3rd Step Prayer every day becomes a reminder that recovery is not just about personal healing. It is also about becoming a source of hope for others. While many find comfort in using the original wording, others find that personalizing the 3rd Step Prayer in their own words makes it even more meaningful.
For many people, the 3rd Step Prayer feels even more powerful when put into their own words. Personalizing the prayer can help deepen the connection to the meaning behind Step 3. It is not about changing the message of surrender but about making it feel more real, personal, and heartfelt. Everyone’s relationship with a Higher Power looks different. That is why finding your own way to express willingness, trust, and surrender can make Step 3 more meaningful. Rewriting the 3rd Step Prayer does not change its spirit. It simply brings the words closer to where you are in your journey.
Here are a few reasons why some people choose to rewrite the 3rd Step Prayer:
Some people pray in formal ways, while others prefer a casual conversation with their Higher Power. Both are valid, and both can support the work of Step 3. Step 3 does not stand alone in the recovery process. It works hand in hand with other steps, especially Step 7. Let’s explore how the 3rd and 7th Step Prayers intertwine.
The 3rd Step Prayer and the 7th Step Prayer often go hand in hand in recovery. Both prayers speak to the heart of surrender, but they focus on different stages of the process.
This step calls for a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power. It is the beginning of letting go, a conscious choice to trust something greater than ourselves. The 3rd Step Prayer gives voice to this willingness, asking for freedom from self-will and guidance to live differently.
After working through these previous steps and not taking ownership of things holding us back, Step 7 is an invitation to ask for help, letting those things go. It is about admitting that we cannot do it all ourselves, and it means being willing to grow into the person we are meant to be, free from old ways of being that no longer serve us. The 7th Step Prayer is a simple and honest ask for that help, asking to have our shortcomings removed, along with the strength and determination to then live from better principles.
Many people make the 3rd and 7th Step Prayers part of their daily routine. Together, they create a rhythm of surrender and growth. They help build the willingness to hand things over and the humility to accept change, one day at a time.
Here is a simple way to think about the connection:
Both prayers offer a steady anchor during the ups and downs of recovery. If you would like to go deeper into the meaning of the 7th Step Prayer, be sure to check out our blog post: The 7th Step Prayer: Seeking Strength Through Humility.
In order to keep the message of Step 3 front and center, we created a free 3rd Step Prayer PDF. You can print it, save it to your phone, or keep it in a journal to access anytime when you need to remember to let it all go and trust your Higher Power. Whether you are using the 3rd Step Prayer during your morning meditation, in a meeting, or whenever life feels difficult, having the 3rd Step Prayer handy can give you strength and direction. Many people find comfort in reading it daily as part of their recovery practice.
You can download the 3rd Step Prayer PDF here. Carrying the words with you is just one part of the journey. Living Step 3 every day is where real transformation happens.
Living Step 3 is not a one-time choice. It is a daily practice of trust, surrender, and faith in action. Step 3 recovery calls us to turn our will and our lives over, especially when fear, pride, or self-will return. It is normal to struggle with letting go. Resistance often shows up through worry, control, or hesitation. Step Three does not ask for perfection. It asks only for willingness, a simple and honest decision each day to trust a Higher Power instead of relying only on ourselves. As recovery continues, the meaning of Step 3 grows deeper. It moves beyond a single prayer and becomes a way of living: trusting through uncertainty, surrendering fear, and welcoming guidance. The rest of the 12 Steps build on this foundation. Step 4 calls for inner reflection. Step 5 invites honesty. Steps 6 and 7 continue the work of letting go and growing. Each step strengthens the surrender that begins with Step 3. Every act of trust brings growth, healing, and freedom. Even in difficult moments, practicing Step 3 keeps us connected to hope, faith, and the promise of a new life.
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